How to Keep A Healthy Growth Mindset in 2021

We’ve been through a lot this year. [huge understatement, I know].

Throughout this year, we've been subjected to lessons of patience, flexibility, constant change, indecision, and anxiety. I mean, the year 2020 could be a textbook on how things go wrong. This year gave us unrealistic expectations about productivity. At the beginning, we set goals to master a foreign language and utilize our commute times. Some of us accomplished big things, but most of us adopted poor habits. After nine to ten months, we’re (on average) not better off. With doom-scrolling and alcohol consumption up, our habits still need changing (Bloomberg).

It would be easier to forget, pretend 2020 never happened, to escape reality and wait for things to get back to “normal”. But life doesn’t work like that.

It's a good thing humans are resilient. Don’t think so? Just look at a kid bounce back from a huge wipe-out. We have the capacity to bounce back. But will you choose to?

How we approach our growth matters.

There’s a ton of things (hobbies, exercises, habits) we could add to our list of 2021 goals. But before I make any lists, I want to evaluate my mindset. It’d be a shame to go through COVID and think about ourselves or self-development the same.

“Mere change is not growth. Growth is the synthesis of change and continuity, and where there is no continuity there is no growth.” C.S. Lewis

How we approach our growth matters. We need a healthy mindset to set healthy goals. If we want this year to be different, we need to focus more on the method than the results. Making changes to become better requires integrity. John Wooden said, “The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.”

Ask any Olympic athlete and they'd tell you they didn't want to practice on Thanksgiving or skip their favorite pie on Christmas Day. But they did it anyway. Becoming an Olympian didn't happen overnight. Before they started their training, they got clear on their purpose.

You have to know your why before you can plan how. It's all about the preparation.

Let's Be Real(istic)

Whether you’re setting goals or not, here are some mindset shifts to consider as you look ahead to 2021.

Patience

In the words of Jafar (Disney's Aladdin), "Patience Iago, patience." I know most of you are probably like: Megan, if I hear that word one more time..

Patience is important. You know it, I know it. Our road rage buddies know it. We get impatient when our 2-hour Prime grocery delivery takes the full two hours. So often we associate patience with waiting. But there's more to it. Patience is defined as, "the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset."

If you know me, I can tolerate just about anything. People often say I'm a patient person. I might be chill on the surface, but underneath I'm fuming. If I'm honest, that anger is self-inflicted. I'm mad I didn't meet my own expectations. I'm upset I'm still here and not there. I'm irritated this person made me listen to their hour long story and only left me five minutes to share. Now, I'm suffering and angry. The very opposite of patient. In a world of instant gratification, how can we accept delays patiently?

How can we suffer well?

Okay, maybe that's too existential. I guess the real question should be: when’s the last time you were patient with yourself?

Instead of rushing to complete and utter despair for missing your goal weight for the week, think about where you started. Got a thousand tasks to complete before the end of the day, focus on one and move on. If you have a goal, work at it consistently and whole-heartedly. Remember, we're not robots. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes time to grow.

Practical Step: Set up accountability with people who know and love you. We’ve seen how difficult isolation is. Human beings were designed for relationship. Accountability makes a huge difference. I’ve had accountability partners who challenge me to meet deadlines and encourage me to be the best I can be. They can help track your progress and adapt when necessary.

Another practical step is to find a mentor. Someone who’s a little further down the road than you. Someone you respect and willing to invest in your life.

Joy

We live in the era of information (hello internet). There’s a self-help book about everything. I could give you a list of endless resources available to help you on your way to living your best life. But, it only helps you if you're interested in it.

We’re all different. And the route to success (whatever that may be) will be different for each of us. As Teddy Roosevelt said,

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Don’t compare your journey to others. Pursue things that serve your purpose, that answer your why. Do your research. Set goals realistic for you and adjust them as you progress.

Practical Step: Watch what you consume. Social media has a huge affect on our mental health.

I will never forget what my pastor said, “what you think about, you care about, what you care about, you act on.” The brain is where it all starts. Make sure what you're pursuing is healthy. Comparison game is strong with social media. Don't get lost in the scroll of doom. Be vigilant about what you listen to, read, and watch.

Celebrate victories no matter the size. Choose to see the good. Find joy in the little things.

Grace

I really struggle with this one. I could say a lot, but I'll keep it brief.

We’re all human. We’re gonna miss a day or two. Give yourself grace. Going easy on yourself is not laziness. It’s okay. Take a break, have a dance party to let out the anger. Rest is healthy.

Practical Step: Make time for play. There have been studies proving how play is a vital part of creativity. Taking a day off could actually be refreshing and make you stronger or give you a new perspective.

Also, move your body. There are tons of benefits to being active. Do some yoga, go for a walk, get some fresh air.

2021 Goal Mindset: Quality > speed

Instead of focusing on the results of productivity, my hope is that we’ll appreciate the mindset of development. There is strength and beauty in resiliency. I hope we approach growth this next year with an attitude of patience, joy, and grace.

What do you hope to achieve in 2021?