With over 25 years of experience in negotiation, Joshua Weiss's most successful conversations often ... [+]
Joshua Weiss is a negotiation expert and author, as well as the director and creator of the Master of Science degree in Leadership and Negotiation at Bay Path University. He also runs a project called the Global Negotiation Initiative through Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation. Weiss joined Negotiate Anything to share his best advice for overcoming common barriers to negotiation success.
The Power of Stories
With over 25 years of experience in negotiation, Weiss’s most successful conversations often come down to one thing: effective storytelling.
“Most people can relate to stories,” he shared. “As kids, that’s what we remember.”
According to Weiss, sharing stories can help negotiators explore other possibilities when they find themselves stuck in the process.
“Not only are stories valuable for learning, but they are valuable in the heat of negotiation to recall a lesson or recall a way that you might shift the conversation,” he explained.
Essentially, recalling a separate instance where unrelated parties experienced a similar dilemma, can help people distance themselves from the emotions of the conversation they are in. Oftentimes, when problem-solving for other people or situations, negotiators tend to be more creative.
Where the process of negotiations can blind us to our own assumptions, motivations or traditional ways of thinking, storytelling can help open our eyes to other potential solutions.
“Assumptions really hinder our thinking,” Weiss shared. “I think that’s the biggest value that training (and people who come in from the outside) can offer - is a challenge to the assumptions.”
Compromise Isn’t Necessary
Weiss also took some time to debunk some of the common myths of negotiation - particularly those that get in the way of optimal deal-making. One of the biggest myths he highlighted is the idea that negotiations are all about compromise.
“A lot of people think compromise is synonymous with negotiation and to me that is incredibly limited thinking,” Weiss said.
He continued, “People rush to compromise when the situation gets difficult. When you come across a hard problem and you can’t solve it, too often people split the difference and move on.”
In doing so, Weiss believes that many negotiators are leaving a tremendous amount of value on the table. That said, in the midst of a difficult conversation, defenses can be high on both sides. This makes it easy for people to get stuck, and more difficult for either side to explore ways to improve the deal.
To resolve this, Weiss recommends two things. First, he encourages negotiators to view their opponent as a partner in solving a mutual problem, instead of as a threat or competitor. Next, he advises that participants implement a concept called the “post-settlement-settlement”.
Once a deal has been reached, simply ask your partner if they can think of any other ways it can be better? Because an agreement has already been made, pressure is alleviated from both sides. Each party should feel more free to explore other creative alternatives.
“From my point of view, you don’t lose anything by asking that question,” Weiss noted.
The best part: this question can be reached whether or not a deal has been made. Even if you and your counterpart agreed that no deal was possible, it can’t hurt to ask what would or could have made the deal better from each perspective. It won’t always lead to a solution, but asking the question could open the door for additional conversations and, possibly, a new deal.
The Role of Persistence
Finally, in addition to placing value on curiosity and creativity, Weiss emphasized the importance of persistence and resilience. While it’s easy to fake confidence and control, oftentimes people are looking for an opportunity to save face.
“A lot of times people get themselves into a situation and they need a way out,” he explained.
In this scenario, listening can be a powerful example of persistence. Rather than rushing to a deal or conclusion, take some time to listen to your opponent and determine if it’s possible they are looking for another way out as well.
While negotiations can’t, and shouldn’t, go on indefinitely, Weiss discouraged listeners from giving up too soon.
“”There is a solution here, you just haven’t found it yet,” he advised. “So when you are ready to give up, stay.”
Visit joshuaweiss.com for more information. To listen to the full episode, click here.
