Leadership in the Storm – How to Bring Your Best Self During Difficult Times

This year has produced a series of ongoing storms that have created high-levels of uncertainty, complexity and constant change for companies, leaders and employees. The events of 2020 have created an environment filled with constant threats where it is easy for leaders to get consumed and fatigued by negative emotions. Leaders who aren’t equipped to effectively manage the emotions that accompany these ongoing threats and challenges are disadvantaged in their ability to accurately perceive situations, problem solve, make decisions, demonstrate empathy, think strategically, and collaborate.

For a leader to succeed during turbulent times they must demonstrate a high degree of emotional awareness and regulation so they can bring their best leadership self to their most charged situations. Below are 5 Essential Practices for leading in the storm.

1.     Understand Emotional Triggers

We all have certain situations or behaviors that trigger our negative emotions. Self-awareness about your most sensitive triggers helps you to guard against emotional reactions and enables thoughtful responses.

Leaders can increase their emotional awareness by becoming familiar with the situations and behaviors that trigger their emotional reactions. Understanding which situations at work consistently cause you the most frustration, anger, or anxiety allows you to be prepared with strategies for how to effectively respond instead of constantly reacting. 

It is equally important to be aware of the behaviors that most annoy, anger or frustrate you. The Leadership Development Institute’s research found that the most common behavioral triggers for negative emotional responses in the workplace were perceiving others as being either unreliable, unappreciative, micro-managing, abrasive, hostile, overly analytical, aloof, self-centered, or untrustworthy. Which of these behaviors are your “hottest” triggers for feeling negative emotions?

2.     Physical Responses to Social Threat

Another way to become emotionally aware is to understand your physical responses when feeling threat or negative emotions. As physical signals are tangible, they tend to be easier to recognize than it is to be aware of your emotions. Some of the most common physical indicators are a clenched jaw, shallow and increased breathing, a rapid heart rate, a sinking feeling in your stomach, a flushed face, and an increase in sweat. These signals are a bit different for each person. What are your most common physical indicators that you experience when you are feeling negative emotions? 

3.     Name Your Emotions

Scientific studies have shown that the act of simply recognizing and naming an emotion reduces its effect, making thoughtful management of your behavior more accessible. In other words, putting your feelings into words helps you. Research repeatedly shows those quickest to recover from distress are people who can identify how they are feeling and put those feeling into words.  The simple act of naming your emotion helps your brain move it from the areas of your brain that are equipped to address physical threat to the more rational parts that serve you in problem solving, relationships, and creativity. As neuroscientists like to say, naming an emotion helps you tame it. Below are three effective ways for naming your negative emotions.

• Talk to a trusted friend about how you feel and why
• Identify and write down your feelings
• Go somewhere where you can say out loud what you are feeling

4.     Establish an Internal Locus of Control

If you believe that you have control over what happens in a certain situation, then you have what psychologists refer to as an internal locus of control. If you believe that you have no control over what happens and that external variables are to blame, then you have what is known as an external locus of control.

This belief about your ability to influence your situation not only impacts how you respond to the challenges that happen in your life, but also your motivation to take action. Research shows that individuals who have an internal locus of control are more likely to:

• Take responsibility for their actions
• Have a strong sense of self-belief about being able to succeed
• Work hard to achieve the things they want
• Feel confident in the face of challenges
• Be happier
• Achieve greater success in the workplace

Stephen Covey’s Circle of Influence provides a practical framework for when one needs to challenge feelings of helplessness by identifying attitudes and activities that are within your control or influence to improve the situation. The point is to create awareness by defining the things that we have to let go of because they’re out of our hands, while at the same time identifying the areas where our efforts will have a real impact. Identify what you can control and then take action.

5.     Build Quality Relationships

During this time of remote work and limited in-person interactions, it is important to make time for your most important relationships. I like the way Shawn Achor summed up the importance of strong relationships in his book Happiness Advantage: “The greatest predictor of success and well-being is one’s social support network. Countless studies have found that social relationships are the best guarantee of heightened well-being and lowered stress, both an antidote for depression and a prescription for high performance.”

Close relationships protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.

Leaders that focus on growing and demonstrating these 5 leadership practices will be able to bring their best self when leading in the midst of the storms. Do you agree?

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Tony Gambill is the founder of ClearView Leadership, an innovative leadership and talent development consulting firm based in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Tony brings more than 20 years of executive experience providing value to clients in the areas of leadership development, coaching, and team effectiveness. Email tonygambill@clearviewleaders.com if you are interested in learning more about how these services can help with your organization's success.